“You make me feel disabled. Yes, you.” by Pensive Aspie

“You make me feel disabled. Yes, you.” by Pensive Aspie

I’m typing this and I haven’t even finished reading the post – I like it that much.


My words can express an agreement and hide my dislike for certain things, but my body language is almost incapable.


Even large family gatherings with people who love us can make us anxious. When you dismiss our anxiety with a wave of your hand and a roll of your eyes, you say our feelings don’t matter.  Your dismissal of my feelings increases my anxiety because I feel I have disappointed you. I feel like I cannot do anything right.


Because sensory issues play a big part in our lives, we often prefer specific foods.  Forcing us to try new foods and chastising us if we don’t proves to me that you don’t respect my boundaries.  I am an adult.  I know what I like and what I don’t.


I finished reading it and wanted to shout, “Amen!” and show it to everyone I know.  Here’s my first step:

3 thoughts on ““You make me feel disabled. Yes, you.” by Pensive Aspie

  1. Thank you! I have been receiving such positive feedback. There are so many non-autistics out there speaking “for us” and “about us”. We need to change that. We need to take back our voice. 😉 Keep blogging on! It’s our turn to be heard! ❤

    • I know! The author shared this post in one of our facebook groups, and after reading Catherine’s comments this is what I replied to the author’s post:

      “Her response made me want to punch her in the face. That reaction is not necessarily her fault, but I did not chose to be angry enough to want to punch her in the face. Now, if I actually punched her in the face, that would be my choice.
      “I wish I had the patience today to respond to her. I am super impressed with how you handled it. I just don’t get why someone would spend that much time trying to refute your emotions and experiences… but then, that’s the internet.
      “One thing I could say is I do believe we can make some choices regarding our emotions, but we do not have complete control. For example, if someone I care about criticizes me, it will sting, but I can use some cognitive strategies and tell myself truths about myself and that they might be having a bad day, and I can chose to not hold it against them. But if it’s something like tension between two other adults at work, I’m going to feel anxious and tense no matter what I do or think.”

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